Let’s face it, we all come across difficult people at work. Whether it’s the colleague who always has to have the last word, the manager who never listens, or the team member who just rubs everyone up the wrong way, tricky personalities can turn even the best job into a bit of a challenge. But here’s the good news: with the right approach, you can handle these situations like a pro and keep your workplace happy, productive and even fun!
Understanding Why People Can Be Difficult
Before you go into battle, it helps to understand why some people act the way they do. Sometimes, it’s about stress, pressure from home, or even just a bad day. Other times, it might be their communication style or how they deal with change. Taking a moment to put yourself in their shoes (without excusing poor behaviour) can make all the difference. You might not become best mates, but understanding their ‘why’ helps to keep things less personal and a lot more manageable.
Stay Calm and Keep Your Cool
It’s tempting to bite back when someone is being difficult, but reacting with anger or frustration usually makes things worse. The best way to disarm a difficult person is to stay calm, even if your patience is being tested! Try slow, steady breathing or count to ten before you respond. Keep your voice level and your body language open — arms uncrossed, relaxed face and no eye rolling! This simple approach makes it much harder for things to escalate and shows you’re in control, not them.
Listen Like a Pro
One of the quickest ways to diffuse a tricky situation is to actually listen. Yep, really listen. Often, difficult people just want to be heard. Let them say their piece without interrupting, and show you’re paying attention with nods and gentle “I see” or “Go on” comments. Once they’ve had their say, repeat back the key points to show you’ve understood. You don’t have to agree, but showing you’ve listened can melt away a surprising amount of tension.
Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
If someone keeps overstepping, it’s time to set some boundaries. This doesn’t mean being rude. Instead, be clear and firm about what you will and won’t accept. For instance, if a colleague is always negative, you might say, “I’d like us to focus on solutions today.” If someone interrupts constantly, try, “I’d appreciate it if I could finish before you jump in.” When you set boundaries respectfully but firmly, people soon learn where your lines are.
Use Empathy, Not Sympathy
Empathy is your superpower in tough conversations. It means recognising how someone feels, without getting drawn into their drama. If a team member is upset, you might say, “I can see this is frustrating for you.” This shows you get their feelings but keeps you emotionally separate. Sympathy can sometimes make things worse, as it’s easy to get dragged into their negativity. Empathy lets you support, but not sink!
Know When to Get Help
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things don’t improve. If a situation is affecting your wellbeing or your work, don’t be afraid to ask for help. This could mean talking to your manager, HR or a trusted mentor. Getting another perspective or having someone else step in can make all the difference and shows you care about keeping the workplace positive for everyone.
Put These Tips Into Practice
Dealing with difficult people isn’t about turning into a workplace superhero overnight. It’s about using small, practical steps to make things better for you and everyone around you. Try out these tips the next time you face a tricky situation and notice how much easier it gets with practice.
Take Your Skills Further
If you want to feel even more confident managing difficult personalities at work, our Dealing With Difficult People Training Course is packed with practical strategies, real-life scenarios and expert advice to help you thrive in any situation. Delivered online or in-person, it’s your next step to a happier, more harmonious workplace. Find out more and book your place here.
